Friday, September 28, 2007

Scheiße (Schizer) happens in a room, on Hamburger St, in Hamburg

Hamburg, Germany.
We may be some of the only backpackers who are traveling around sans a "lonely planetesque" book, so when we show up in a new city our background information on aforementioned city is limited. This was the case when we arrived late at night in Hamburg. As we walked to the closest hostel we were shocked at how dead the town was for a Friday night. The first hostel informed us that they and every hostel in town was booked solid for the whole weekend. Two young Australians who had arrived just before us were getting back on the train to Berlin, but they directed us to two other travelers who had information on a place to stay. We were directed to a hotel above a strip club, but were assured that we should not be afraid. Off we went and a few lefts and rights later we found Reeperbahn. To look for the one hotel above a strip club would be impossible, for there were strip clubs as far as the eye could, even if it didn´t want to, could see. Every other bar was a bar/hotel. Some of which you could rent by the hour, one which was aptly named "one night stand". Peter thought staying there would be a good way to save some money if we only sleep for 7 hours. This plan was quickly squashed. We booked a room in a hotel behind the bar of this smoky little place where EVERY time we left the same people were drinking (1 am, 5 pm, noon when ever}. Out to explore the town. One could write a book on all you can see on Reeperbahn St in the St. Pauli section of town. So you will get the cliff note version.
-Everyone in town goes out here, young and old.
-People drink and are drunk for 24 hours a day. Sometimes when you are out at 10 am you have to step over men and women passed out in the street in their own vomit.
-Hookers are everywhere. They all wear the same thing: Big puffy pastel colored jacket, tight jeans with no ass pockets, a fanny pack for money, white platform sneakers, and their hair pulled back into a tight pony tail. If a man is outside by himself they will link arms with them as they walk by, as they did to Peter more thank once.
-Strip clubs galore. But while the Germans are liberal with the sex trade, they are not so open to the sexes mixing in the clubs. No women aloud, there are even streets that women can´t go down.
-Drinking out in public is legal here and EVERYONE partakes in this; young, old, preppy, professional, goth, Nora and Peter, English tourists in their 50s, students. EVERYONE 24 hours a day rain or shine.
-While the worst debauchery happens on the streets, don`t try to pee in a dark alley. Peter did this, he thought the location was fine since there was a local man doing the same. The German police officer did not agree with this logic. He began to reprimand the two boys, but the German pissor would not have it as he started to argue loudly and passionately with the cop and disgustedly threw his cigarette down to the ground and stormed off. Here is what we translated his argument to be: "Put some damn public toilets in if you don´t want people pissing on the streets, schiezer!!!! Peter just stood there acting innocent. The cop in a very unamerican way just told the boys, "No pissor" to piss some where else.
-We watched a parade of young Germans singing to Beastie Boys "Fight for your Right to Party" blaring from a van. This parade was lead by two happy cops talking and smiling with the local revelers.
-Sauerkraut is really good and extremely cheap here....and comes in bags!
-Zee Germans sell shirts that say "Don`t Hassle the Hoff."
-When German people step in dog poop they actually yell "Scheiße!!!!" Really, we saw it with our own eyes and almost Scheißed our pants with laugher!
-Hamburg is beautiful outside of this one section of town. A port city with fascinating architecture and an international feel.
-This city shows you the best and the worst of human society. It makes you understand drinking laws and regulations. It shows you how all people from all walks of life can happily coexist.
-Seeing a bum with 5 teeth in his mouth open a bottle of beer with his strategically placed opposing teeth is both shocking and awing at the same time. It would be a great party trick, but it was his survival technique.
-Sleeping on Hamburger Street in Hamburg in a hotel attached to a smoky bar is not that bad, as long as you have ear plugs!

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