Sunday, September 30, 2007

Baluga the Magical (and excited) Dolphin from Oslo

Ryan air is a budget airline in Europe that has extremely inexpensive flights. We found a cheap flight to Oslo, Norway and booked it without question. We soon learned that Oslo is one of the most, if not THE most expensive places, in Europe, not to mention the world. After some investigation we found that the cheapest hostel beds were $40 per person (the usual price is 13ish). To save budvars, duckets, chochkeys, or NOKs as they are called in Os, we signed up for a movement called Couchsurfing is a phenomenon where kind souls allow backpackers and travelers to crash on their couches au gratis. Sounds a bit sketchy at first but in reality it really is an amazing network. We received a reply from a local Scandinavian, Terje Lingaas, a journalist student and fellow wandering soul. He told us we could crash on his plain, comfy, white IKEA monsters the first night and then the last two nights of our 5 night stay.

Off we went to Oslo. But actually we landed in Torp, 120K outside of Oslo, that's what you get for a 0.01 flight. A dirty trick, as you have to pay your life savings to take a bus to get into the city of Oslo. We quickly found out how expensive Oslo was as it took $8USD EACH to ride the local bus the 15 Kilometers to Terje's apartment. This was only 3 stops outside of the Oslo city limits. I was missing the MBTA, even with their fare hike.

Terje's Apartment + Not bad for a student, ehhh!?

After spending 40 times more to take a bus to Oslo than the flight we just took to get there, we got off at a dark bus stop and waited for no longer than 30 seconds before a tall dark figure come around the corner and waves to us. "Hey, you must be Terje!" I said. "Well, close enough," he responded. His name is pronounced Tee-ara, who knew!? He took us to his 5th floor loft apartment, an immaculately decorated place where the "IKEA is slowly being fazed out", according to Terje. The Salvation Army thrift store was the new decor designer of choice. We talked for 2 hour and became good friends instantly.

Terje's roommated, Alek, arrived home from work at the "old folks home" and sat and talked with us for another couple of hours. "I work at the old folks home. How do you say it in English?" That's exactly how you say it in English, I replied!

A little tired from our long days journey and hours of talking, we made our bed....or couches, rather. The comfy white IKEA monsters!

The next day.....

Terje told us a story about a rather embarrassing incident that took place in the Fjord of Oslo:
Once upon a time (a couple of years ago), an unidentified Norwegian man spotted a frolicking porpoise in the Oslo Fjord and decided to be friendly and join HIM for a swim. The innocent swimmer learns that the porpoise is a HIM when he becomes starry eyed and hearts begin to erupt from his head (see diagram). The happy porpoise gets excited from the man's petting and becomes erect. The porpoise's erection becomes lodged in the unwilling swimmers shorts (what are the odds of that happening!?) and is dragged down underwater to his near drowning. Luckily the man was able to get his shorts off before he met his death and swim, naked, gasping and violated, to shore. The man's name was published in the local newspaper and the following diagram was created to show eager minds what had taken place between the unaware swimmer and the sexual offending porpoise. WARNING: Explicit cartoon rendering!

Forsøkt voldtatt av kjærlig delfin
"Dolphins are considered to be amongst the most intelligent of animals and their often friendly appearance and seemingly playful attitude have made them popular in human culture." - Cited from Wikipedia, a reliable source, but not in this case!

"Its beautiful in its in any language."
-Terje Lingaas

1 comment:

monnu said...

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